Tibia?

[danonix]

Found some funny this about Tibia in Polish site. I will update this thread in my spare time

Quotes

If you are Square, you are attacking rectangles - Welcome to Tibia.


Tibia Like a DRUG!


Ah... Tibia.... My finest work


My life is like Tibia - There is no place for a heaven.

Hardware Requirements

MS-DOS / Windows 1.0 / 2.0 / 3.0 / 3.1 / 3.11 / 95 / 98 / 2000 / ME / XP / Vista / 7 / 8 / Linux / Mac OS(it should be crossed...) - BIOS is fine fine.
Hard Disk Space: 77 MB (in newest version).
DirectX >= 5.0 / Open GL.
Processor: AMD K5 150 MHz.
RAM: 16MB 8MB - why would you need ram?
Graphics: Any
Connection to internet: 1Mbps 1Pxps (1 pixel per second).
Keyboard and mouse
Sound Card: No one knows a card, that will work with this game
You could use a computer, in the last resort calculator or abacus, even stick found in a park will be fine.
Headphones, so you won't miss an error that will show in background

Graphics in Tibia

|*x Tibia |_|O|X|
|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------|--------------------------|
| Noob says: Friend of Noob says: | |"""""""""""""| |"""""""||
| fri itanz pls!!11!!!!1111!!!11 1000K Gold plix! | | __| |__ | | \|/ ||
| !!!!!!!!!1111111!!!!!111!!11!! Friend of Noob says: | |_| |_| | /|\ ||
| 137 !!!!!!!1!!1!111!!!!!1111!!!!1! Thx! | |_ * _| |_______||
| Sorcerer says: !!!!111!111!!!!!1!!!!1111!1!11 Friend of Noob says: | | | | | | Θ | ↑ ||
|no kill me plx!! !!11!!!!1111!!!1!!!!!!11111!!! :* frjents? | | |___["]___| | | ʘ | ↓ ||
| _ _ _ | | | |Centre ||
| (_) * (_) (_) | |_____________| """""""""|
| (o)--|--/ ---|--- ---|--- | |
| | / Knight says: | | | ♥ # 0 |
| | exori gran x | | | 9 ############## 35 |
| / \ _ | / \ / \ | |
| / \ |""|(_) | / \ PK says: / \ | - ___|\_/|___ _______ |
| |()|-|---+ PIE OR DAY! | | o |(O)| 0 | | X | I ||
| x \__/ | x Me says: | ooo | | ^ |/o\|(_)| | V | / ||
| | Aj ken pej 2GP? | _ ooooo | ||o|||_|| / | | U | # ||
| / \ 1 \|/ (_) ooooooo | |\_/|/ \|X | | Stop ||
| / \ You are dead! I===| | | . ||||| o | |Quests ||
| x x x __ * | | |___|||||ooo| |Options||
| _ / | | |100|/|\| 75| | Help ||
| (_)----__/ / \ | |Skill|Batt|VIP|Logout ||
| __/ \___ / \ | """"""""""""""""""""""""|
| Noob yells: High Level says: ||(\ Skills - X|
| TRAT SABR FOR GIEANT SWARD PLAX NP |''''''''''''''''''''''''''|
| _ \./ | Experience 4200 |↑||
| (_) ^ (_) |\ | Level 8 | ||
| ---|--- |==/ \=|=) | Hit Points 0 | ||
| | ^ |_| |/ | Mana 35 |↓||
| | / \ |''''''''''''''''''''''''''|
| / \ / ^ \ ||X Battle - X|
| / \ /o/ \o\ |''''''''''''''''''''''''''|
|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------| o High Level |↑||
| | default | TRADE | help | game chat | High Level | Sorcerer | | [] | Θ | -\- ########## | ||
|------------_______-------------------------------------------------------------| /\ | ||
|12:37 Noob [6]: <Thais> Fri itanz pls!111!! (No travel) | o Sorcerer | ||
|12:37 GM [2]: TP PLX! <Ankh> | -\- #### | ||
|12:38 Super Trader [385]: Trade Giant Sword for Sabre!! FAST!! | /\ | ||
|12:38 Lamer [15]: SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! | o Noob | ||
| SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! | -\- # | ||
| SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! | /\ | ||
|12:38 Rookstayer [21]: Sell leather boots (No noobs offerts!) | o PK | ||
|12:39 Botter [56]: ja nie botuje... | -\- ######### | ||
|12:39 Pacc Seller [10]: Sell Premium Account - 10K for 1 year! <Venore> | /\ |↓||
|12:40 Noob [6]: BYE!! I send gp in parcel! |''''''''''''''''''''''''''|
|12:40 Me [8]: Aj ken pej 2GP? ||O Backpack - X|
|12:40 Player [54]: Lol |''''''''''''''''''''''''''|
|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | o ||o|| o |★★|\_/| |↑||
|| <)) | Aj ken pej 2GP? | |ooo|\_/|ooo|★★|(o)| |↓||
|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------|--------------------------|
Photos

http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090622193760/nonsensopedia/images/thumb/7/73/Tibia21816.jpg/200px-Tibia21816.jpg

http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20081009073820/nonsensopedia/images/7/76/Chair.png
http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080607151044/nonsensopedia/images/thumb/e/e7/Fut_plx.PNG/185px-Fut_plx.PNG
Data Carrier in 1984
http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080904133932/nonsensopedia/images/thumb/6/62/Nosnik.jpg/185px-Nosnik.jpg
Welcome message in newest Tibia version
http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080904133035/nonsensopedia/images/thumb/5/5e/Ekran_powitalny.jpg/185px-Ekran_powitalny.jpg
That's how your history started
http://www3.patrz.pl/u/f/11/26/74/112674.gif


Dialogue in tibia
– pl?
– no
– free items plx plx
– no
– plxplxplxpxl!!11111!!1!1oneone
– no huntet n00b
– you noob fuck you
– ignored
– noob noob noob
– fuck you!!!11 ur ignored n00b
– noob nobb!!!11 noob

Quests

One of most interesting elements in game are quests.. In tibia Quests are pretty advanced.

That's how looks average talk for quest.

Gracz: hi
NPC: blablabla
Gracz: quest
NPC: blablabla
Gracz: yes
NPC: blablabla
Gracz: yes
NPC: blablabla
Gracz: yes
NPC: blablabla
Gracz: bye ( Real "Tibian" never says bye, because it is waste of time. )

Premium Account in Tibia
Premium Account (PACC) – account for guys, which are bored by DEMO version (FACC). If you want to get PACC, you have to get from parents 12 – 120 USD (according to length of Pacc and euro exchange). Premium account gives us new areas to explore
Snowy Tiquanda
Swampy Liberty Gay
Hot Svargrond

and much more, where you can die by exotic monsters.

Other benefits from beeing premium account player:
Ability to travel by carpet and ship, so your fingers won't hurt that much.
New outfits, if you would get bored by facc ones.
Addons to outfits.
Ability to login without waiting in queue! These facc noobs will wait if they don't want to pay.
Access to new spells – I mean to this useful, because useless are for all.
Ability to play on premium server - You will play alone there.
Ability to buy house or guildhouse, so people will get jealousy or, to thief poor 8-levels
Ability to create own sect(guild)
More space in deposit ( even space if bigger for premium players)
Easier independence from beeing addicted to Tibia – After buying pacc, your chance to get hacked increase by 3x.
New quests, where in contrast to facc quest you can earn valuable items
Ability to be a tutor, if you pass an exam (you have to buy answers on e-bay), or even to be a GM (you must suck up even more);
New monsters, which are giving 3x exp and 3x loot
As if that was not enough, you can change your proffesion! YES!
Knight - Elite Knight
Paladin - Royal Paladin
Sorcerer - Master Sorcerer
Druid - Elder Druid
and more, whereby noob can be a master

source: http://nonsensopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Tibia

[emir]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA Where did you found it ?

[danonix]

Are you Addicted?
You cry after losing studded legs.
You are getting suprised by everything which not belongs to Tibia: Television, mobile phone. One thing, that you accept is computer
You throw money on friend's backpack, while he put it on floor.
When you see new friend boots you say - fucking good addon.
If you see teacher comming to class you yell - GameMaster Incoming!
You are able only to look in 4 directions.
In shop you use words: Hi, Trade, Bye
You stay instead of sit on chair
If you want to go back home from school, you set tables near wall and ask for teleport.
While eating lunch you are looking at food and wonder, how to click use
Instead of giving pen to friend's hand, you throw it on floor and say "take"
You are using bots on school-lessons
You can't kick ball further than 2 meters.
You wonder how to get nick and level of passerby
You cast on P-E utani gran hur
You never sleep because you are not promoted
After drinking any drink, you are walking through city and shouting "hicks, hicks"
Potrafisz rozkopać zasypaną dziurę w ciągu ułamka sekundy.
You buy poison and asking people (noobs) to drink it claiming, its lifefluid
If someone is playing an instrument, you dont hear it, but see notes
When you are going on fishes, you are going naked to get more capacity.
When you see Sphinx, you think that there was an uptade in ankrahmun
If you see guy standing "afk", you are wondering if you can kill him
You change clothes in one second.
You are convinced, that after 3 days Jesus became a Game-Master
You breed Quaras in aquarium
If you are going outside, you need to have full-eq.
You put X backpacks to one, you can carry more items.

[Flappy Joe]

Imagine throwing a pen on the floor and saying 'take'.

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA

[Ryszard]

http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20081009073820/nonsensopedia/images/7/76/Chair.png


I remember when some guy in Poland, attacked his mother when she turned off energy at their house, while he was making Annihilator :p

[Stronghamer]

You throw money on friend's backpack, while he put it on floor.


Haha that one made me laugh. Just imagine doing that in real life


You can't kick ball further than 2 meters. hahaha

[danonix]

I remember when some guy in Poland, attacked his mother when she turned off energy at their house, while he was making Annihilator :p

It refers to this situation :P.

I'll translate today some more texts

[Jah]

You are convinced, that after 3 days Jesus became a Game-Master


HAHAHAHA!
Love it!

[xelitex117]

this gave me a good laugh :p

[danonix]

bump, today will add new things